Elle (theroadtoelle) wrote,

Hiding behind the keyboard

Prompt: '95% of people text things they could never say in person.' What about you? Do you text things you could never say in person? Or do you send them a letter or an email? Or call them on the phone? How do you handle awkward conversations?

When it comes to people who know me well - family and real life friends - I think I'm the same online as I am in person. If I couldn't say it to my sister's face, I won't say it in a text. If I can't say it to my dad's face, I won't say it in a text.

But I definitely have an online persona that is different to who I am in real life. A classic example of this is the erotica short stories in my portfolio. I haven't even told anyone in real life that I have written them, let alone showed them to them. In real life I'm a bit of a prude, and I was a classic 'good girl' growing up and through my teens, so most people in real life would be fairly shocked to hear that I've even read erotica, let alone written it. Maybe. Maybe my image has changed and matured with me, and I'm just not aware of it. It's hard to know, right? Who really knows exactly how anyone sees you? People know that I'm not a Christian anymore, people know that I swear a lot, people know that I had a child out of wedlock... And maybe with Goodreads, people even know that I read m/m and erotica books. *shrugs* I'm not embarrassed about it. I'm not embarrassed that I have written erotica. Maybe more embarrassed that it might not be any good! But I suppose I do maintain an image of sorts. Don't we all? We all hide things from the world.

So yes, I do feel bolder when I'm hiding behind my online persona. I feel....freer. Like I can be who I want, and it doesn't matter. I have to be careful that I moderate my language, etc. to be suitable for the forum, like not swearing on the newsfeed, but I think it would be true to say that the people on Writing.com probably know the real me as much as my close friends and family...but maybe different aspects.

It's an interesting idea anyway. I consider myself an oversharer, often sharing too much of myself rather than hiding the real me behind fake names and information... But even I have an image that I maintain, consciously or unconsciously.
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